One of the hardest parts of staying disciplined is learning to be okay with being selfish. Its hard enough to tell yourself no to certain things, but its even harder to tell the people you hold close that this time you wont be able to come through for them. This is necessary, this is vital and this must happen if I want to make it where I am going. Either separate yourself from what everyone else is doing or live the life that the average person is living.
I cannot honestly say that this week was one of success. I made poor financial decisions, I was not on top of my health, and I did not stay disciplined to working toward my goal of continuing my education. That’s not to say I failed or neglected these things, however just to be honest I could have gone way harder. Seeing the consequences of my behavior will hopefully inspire me. Since I will not be able to hit the gym Monday due to an early morning Orthodontist appointment the goal is to fit that workout in either Sunday or Monday evening. Create a schedule for GRE study time and a budget to SAVE SAVE SAVE! The tickets to Tokyo are currently way to expensive and I can only hope that a deal will appear between now and this summer.
On a brighter note this week wasn’t all bad. I enjoyed good times with some friends at a free luau, and celebrated a birthday with one of my best friends. I also enjoyed the beautiful Jefferson park this morning and wondered why I was paying for a gym when I had such beautiful park less than a mile away (Seattle rain maybe?). There were also tennis courts! I scheduled an appointment with a woman at the University who I hope will lead me in the right direction as far as applying for my Masters is concerned. I’ve also started reading a really good book that I cannot wait to share, and watched a phenomenal documentary about Japanese internment camps called Toyo’s Camera. Overall I have been happy, cooking, and healthy. In life there will always be up’s and downs. Both will continue to inspire me to reach for the stars and both will continue to teach me new lessons. Depending on what angle you look at it, this weak could be considered somewhat of a success.
Is the glass half empty or is it half full? Live long and prosper my friends.
Continuing with my interview here is another question I was asked to answer.
I believe the biggest barrier I’ve faced was the fear of being afraid of taking advantage of greater opportunities. Yes, there are many opportunities that I’ve either missed or did not have, but too often people of color are told we “can’t” do something or that we are not “supposed” be doing certain things that may require a higher skill level. Unfortunately these barriers to often come from people who look exactly like ourselves. Furthermore the minute one tries to achieve what has not been done or collaborate with someone outside their race they are labeled sell outs. Is it jealousy or are people just afraid to see others succeed?
Too often we place people of color in boxes based on their skin color and environment and limit their growth, putting a ceiling on what should be a stepping stone. I’ve personally stood on both sides of this oppression being the victim and oppressor. At the age of 25 I am trying to do everything that I can to educate my own ignorance as well as do everything I was told I would not be good at. I am working hard to understand the intentions and motives behind what I do not understand. I am working to change my eating habits, continuing my education and bringing myself and my race to new places with the confidence that I did not have when I was younger. Unfortunately the support still isn’t where it should be, but one must start with the man in the mirror and hope that those who still carry ignorance will change.
What a roller coaster year. So many lessons learned so many memories made. I am thankful that I can look back and say I ended up flat footed standing up with my chin up and chest out. This to me means the struggle the headaches the confusion and sacrifice was all worth it. I couldn’t have made it without my loving family and a supportive partner in crime. Things this year got rough to the point where I doubted myself and questioned if I was being to prideful and should give up on all of my hopes and goals all together, or should I stick with what I want to do. With this help I was able to stay above water mentally, physically and financially. I was also able to formulate my “dreams” into goals and take realistic steps to making these come to fruition.
As I reflect I have so much to thankful for. My family is healthy. That makes me smile. My family is healthy…. So nice I had to say it twice! Life really is good. Now that I have gotten older and built up some income for myself I no longer wait until Christmas for the things that I really want. Therefore more than gifts the moments are what matters most to me.
In the coming year the goal is to continue to learn, prioritize a healthy lifestyle, and be smarter financially. THIS is what will take me into the future. “Mind over matter… Those that matter don’t mind, and those that mind don’t matter.”